INSIDE ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER
(No, you're NOT stupid, lazy or crazy!)

By Shari Schreiber, M.A.
www.GettinBetter.com

 

Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD, is a fairly common neurological issue that for years, has been recognized as a learning disability. If you’re born with it or acquire it during your lifetime, you do not "outgrow" it--though it's likely you'll invent some useful coping strategies to make your symptoms feel less troublesome. This is a cyclical disorder that's attended by mood fluctuations, which coincide with periods of intense productivity, contrasted by periods of apathy or inertia. These cycles impact your self-confidence (no matter how talented or intelligent you are), because you're not able to consistently demonstrate your abilities. Aside from these challenges, there are a number of positive aspects associated with this disorder, which are discussed a bit farther down in this article. This self-diagnostic tool is intended to help you discern the degree to which you may have ADD/ADHD; if you've struggled with some of the obstacles mentioned here, there is help to overcome them! Imagine breaking free of the shame that's a by-product of this disorder, and creating a Life more rewarding than you've ever thought possible. You're on your way there, right now.

THE MOST TYPICAL HALLMARKS OF THIS CONDITION ARE:

*Chronic procrastination; always putting things off until the last minute, or indefinitely--especially if it's a task you'd prefer to avoid.

*Mood cycles ~ sometimes up; feeling motivated, confident, “normal” and able to get much accomplished--and sometimes down; feeling unmotivated, inert, disorganized, insecure, overwhelmed, ashamed, “crazy or stupid” and mild to moderately depressed.

*Wondering if you're manic-depressive, or a "little bipolar"; believe it or not, lots of ADD'ers have questioned this at one time or another! Check out my piece on Bipolar Disorder, and discern the difference for yourself.

*Feeling like an underachiever; no matter how much you’ve accomplished during your lifetime, it just never seems like enough!

*Getting started, is the hardest part; once you're at the laundromat you do well, and momentum carries you along--but it's beginning a chore, that's the most difficult. Just start, and you'll be fine!

*You may feel like an impostor or fraud; your accomplishments are usually within areas of innate talent or ability (you're born with 'em), which means they're fairly effortless! Because they've come so easily, you may take them for granted, and can't feel deserving of accolades or honors for your work.

*Lack of follow-through; starting projects and seldom finishing them. Loss of interest, motivation, enthusiasm for an activity or goal that might have formerly generated a lot of excitement.

*You work best under pressure; in the ‘eleventh hour’ when time's running out on a task or project you must handle, you're suddenly efficient, focused, driven and effective. (More on this below.)

*Chronic tardiness; always "running late" (see 'pressure' issue above).

*You're inclined to find 'shortcuts' for resolving an issue, rather than going through the usual or "proper" channels to get something handled.

*You're drawn to work that allows you a lot of creative expression; actors, artists, designers, writers, directors, inventors, architects, etc.

*So many goals, so little focus; 'changing the channel' of focus feeds your need for diverse stimulation, and may inspire you to create several streams of income. More on this, under "The Good News" section (below).

*Attraction to jobs or careers that involve a high degree of risk or danger; stunt people, firemen, paramedics, emergency room doctors/nurses, etc. You're drawn to environments that are highly stressful and production oriented, or where various types of activities are going on at once. Any kind of job requiring your attention to be several places simultaneously, or hyper-focused when there’s a crucial situation you must respond to with the added pressure of time limited, high yield performance (i.e. physical rescue work).

*Attraction to high-risk activities for sport or pleasure; jumping out of airplanes, off cliffs/bridges, high risk snow or water skiing/surfing, mountain climbing, dangerous or potentially fatal sex practices, etc. In other words, “adrenaline junkies” who insatiably crave intense stimulation.

There are many symptoms associated with ADD and these are just a few! Not all of the above may apply to you, but if you resonate with several of them, it may serve you to (at least) browse the rest of this piece.

Please note! If you want to share this article with someone you care about, make sure you capitalize "ADD" in this link, or they won't be able to find it! Example; www.GettinBetter.com/ADD.html. You can also save this page to your 'favorites' for quick, easy (future) access.

"I'VE ALWAYS FELT I WAS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE."

You are. This is an extremely common perception among ADD'ers, because your rhythm or pacing is different from other individuals you've known. You may get various tasks accomplished and do them well--but this is according to your tempo, and they're more easily managed when the “pressure’s on” or during periods when you're feeling more up or empowered. There are times you’ll feel productive, focused and on top of your game--but at other times, it's just the opposite! It's been my opinion for years, that Attention Deficit Disorder should be called Attention Inconsistency Disorder, as this is a far more accurate description of how ADD affects literally hundreds of thousands of individuals.

While it's true that you have this learning disability, it doesn't mean you're unable to learn--you just have special ways of doing it! ADD'ers are often more visually oriented than auditory, which is a very typical characteristic of creative minds. You might say that your brain's "processing plant" is a little different from other folks; it generally needs to form mental pictures in order to make sense of information, and determine how to respond/react. Visual stimulation can inhibit your ability to process auditory information, and this affects us in various ways. Have you ever noticed, you can't look at a waiter while he's describing that day's specials, and retain all the information? This happens because your mind's eye has to construct images that help it 'see' what's on those dishes being described, so you can more easily make your choice! Lowering or closing your eyes as you listen, lets your brain do what it does best (and no, it's not rude). By the way, foreign/subtitled films, or movies where much of the storyline is told through the characters' dialogue, can be troublesome to ADD'ers for the same reason. We become visually distracted, and afraid we'll miss important points that help us understand or 'track with' the story!

HOW (AND WHY) DOES THIS DISORDER EXIST?

There's a small structure at the base of your brain called the Thalamus. Your Thalamus combines with a tentacle-like structure called the R.A.S. (Reticular Activating System), and functions much like the valve on a garden hose, to allow stimulation to reach your cerebral cortex (thinking part of the brain) or not. When this “valve” is closed or shut down, it’s like having a kink in your garden hose, and water can’t flow through. Similarly, when this happens to your brain you’re unable to get the stimulation you need, to think clearly and function/perform as you would like. You work best under pressure, because when time's running out on a task that's needing your attention, your body's anxiety response to it triggers an adrenalin release in your bloodstream. This chemical functions like high octane fuel for your brain, so that it can go into 'overdrive,' and help you push through most resistance/procrastination.

WHAT CAN CAUSE IT?

*Head trauma; serious bruising/concussions, etc., during any part of your life, either in childhood or adulthood.

*Chronic/severe earaches; or multiple ear infections during childhood.

*High fevers; particularly, if they've lasted 24-hours or more.

*Encephalitis and/or Meningitis.

*Heredity; if your parent or close relative suffers with ADD/ADHD (or bipolar issues), there’s a genetic probability that you will too.

*Near-death experience (NDE); especially if your brain has been deprived of oxygen for more than a few minutes.

*Birth trauma; umbilical strangling during the birth process, or other types of fetal trauma involving oxygen deprivation or acute pressure to the head.

*Damage in-utero; if your mother regularly smoked or drank alcohol during pregnancy, this could have impaired normal brain development, and left you at risk for acquiring this disorder.

WHAT IS "ADHD?"

ADHD is ADD that includes a hyperactivity component. This disorder is far more readily identified (and treated) in childhood than ADD, and is more prevalent in males than females (nobody’s quite sure why). In children and adults it's generally characterized by restlessness, agitation, inability to focus or concentrate, irritability, inattention, lack of follow-through, difficulty resting, feeling relaxed or “laid-back.” Achieving scholastic or professional success might be easier for ADHD'ers; their ability to self-activate could be enhanced, simply because it's harder to sit still! Depressive episodes and inertia are not quite as common with ADHD, but the ability to focus/slow down enough to complete a task, may be more challenging. ADHD'ers are often flooded by stimulation, which easily prompts sensations of overwhelm. When overwhelm occurs, it's like an electrical overload that 'short circuits' our brains, and causes a mental system shut-down that can feel paralyzing (and depressing).

OK, HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS . . . !

ADD’ers tend to be exceptionally bright, and are typically highly creative, artistic and/or inventive. It is believed that many of our most famous artists and inventors throughout history had ADD, which allowed them to harness acute, sustained focus for extraordinary periods of time. This ‘hyper-focus’ enabled them to produce tremendous works of art or significant/important inventions, that have contributed greatly to our advancement as a society. ADD/ADHD'ers are not stupid. In fact, they may be smarter than the average bear!

Once diagnosed, attention span issues can be easily managed, and various treatment modalities are discussed later in this article. It's also important to know that certain kinds of professions or occupations require abilities and skills that are especially suited to ADD’ers! As mentioned under the "hallmarks" section, people living with this disorder are particularly adept at multi-tasking (managing several different tasks at once) and performing well under pressure! Split focus is as natural as breathing for people with ADD, and productivity is more easily maintained in fast-paced environments where there's lots of interaction with others.

Hyper-focus is an ADD blessing. Quite often, I'll get fired-up/inspired about a topic, and begin writing an article in the early hours of the morning. Before I know it, I've worked straight through until it's dark outside! I might have wanted to get out and do some fun stuff or errands--but I just couldn't put that piece down and walk away until I ran out of steam, and my mind got to a place where I could accept this natural segue. That's passion for ya!

Passion is housed in the second chakra of the body, or your abdomen/lower back area. It's right in there with sexuality, reproductivity and creativity. It's virtually impossible to be creative on demand--because that's like requiring yourself to feel sexual on cue! It's not gonna happen (well, not unless you're in the porn industry). Working on an artistic/creative project is literally like giving birth. At times, you'll feel depleted and a little sad, after you finish a task. This is like post-partum depression, and you'll need to recharge your batteries for awhile, until you can get up for the party again. This is normal. Go with it.

Quite contrary to popular belief, ADD'ers may have strong organizational skills on the job or in a workplace--even if their home environments appear completely chaotic! The structure and stimulation of a work environment can actually allow their creativity to shine. For example, they might set up an entire filing or billing system that's far more effective and efficient than what's existed before. Remember, ADD'ers like taking/creating shortcuts, and they'll usually find a quicker, more expedient way to get to the 'cheese' in any kind of maze. In short, the pressure and responsibilities they face while working, can help order their thoughts, and heighten their capacity to focus and function.

It's not uncommon for ADD'ers to maintain several occupations (streams of income) simultaneously, or have avocations that augment a primary job or career. For many, being able to switch focus is essential, because it provides relief from boredom, and allows access to different types of stimulation that can virtually 'jump start' their brains. Starting a new project can produce feelings of euphoria; returning to one after a hiatus can be richly gratifying and productive. Unfortunately, self-judgment about not having found a specific 'niche' during one's lifetime, can be harsh and demoralizing. Very young, we're programmed to believe that we need to "decide" what we're going to be when we grow up, and this limiting notion must be dismantled! The truth is, ADD'ers are generally capable of being several things at once, because their talents and abilities are nothing short of prodigious!

Think of your talents this way; imagine that you're asked to draw a picture, and given a box of crayons--but you're only allowed to use one crayon from that entire box, to do it. How would you feel about that? Would this artwork reflect your true abilities? Of course not! Well that's what happens when we try and pigeonhole ourselves--or put all our eggs in one basket. It stifles us, and leads to depression.

IMPORTANT FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW:

Attention Deficit Disorder is fairly easy to treat and manage, using a variety of interventions discussed in this article. Plus, within areas of ability that inspire your interest and passion, symptoms can virtually disappear for long stretches of time. What's crucial, is that you stop beating yourself up for having to grapple with certain impediments and obstacles associated with this issue! Living with untreated ADD, can be like trying to reach an island in a small boat that has a hole in the bottom. As you keep trying to get to that island (your goal/aim), your boat keeps taking on water, and you must periodically stop and bail it out, so you can stay afloat, and begin rowing again! Maybe "next time" you'll be able to get to your destination before you start to sink--and maybe not. You must begin to accept that it's NOT your fault that you suffer from this condition, over which (if unassisted) you have very little control.

Most folks with mild to moderate levels of this disorder aren't diagnosable with standardized tests administered by a physician, which are expensive, incredibly tedious, painstakingly long and frequently, inconclusive! Still, they suffer terribly from psychological and emotional scars incurred throughout a lifetime of trying to live with, and surmount this issue. Tremendous feelings of shame, guilt and remorse over not living up to one’s “potential” (or the expectations of others) are constantly with ADD’ers. Since many people have never had this diagnosed (or even, identified) in their make-up, they go through life feeling like failures, and believing that if they "try just a little harder" they’ll be able to stay on target, and create the kind of Life that matches their daydreams. Sadly, if this condition remains untreated, this is seldom the case; this is a physiological issue--not a personality defect or character flaw!

Children can very easily acquire ADD around the age of 3 years old! While they've become fairly adept at walking, their little leg muscles and joints are not fully developed, so their ability to balance themselves is compromised. Climbing stairs isn't too dangerous, but descending them is! Unfortunately, many parents think their toddler is able to independently perform this task, and leave him/her to negotiate it on their own. I've met with a considerable number of ADD'ers who've reported "falling down a flight of stairs at the age of three," and none of their siblings genetically suffer from this disorder. It is a grave mistake to not maintain solid hold of your child's (or grandchild's) hand or arm while coming down stairs! Walking down beside or just ahead of your child, is not an adequate preventive measure to keep him or her from tumbling down, and incurring brain trauma that can cause Attention Deficit or Bipolar Disorders! In short, just because your toddler isn't bleeding after a fall, it doesn't mean he/she hasn't been seriously injured.

ADD'ers can feel completely overwhelmed with personal setbacks; romantic, financial, familial, etc. Basically, any sort of event that 'startles' the brain can virtually blow their circuits, and trap 'em a state of emotional paralysis that can take weeks (or months) to overcome.

Along these same lines, inability to achieve desired results from any efforts made during an up-cycle can be hugely disappointing, and inhibit forward movement for long stretches of time. It's important to note, that energy expenditure during a 'push' time can leave one feeling depleted, once a task or project is accomplished--meaning, gearing up for more productivity can be very difficult; it's literally like the aftermath of an adrenalin rush. Since ADD cycles are attended by fluctuations in energy and mood, self-esteem levels can be impacted as well. Depressive episodes of varying degrees are almost always part of this picture, and can further compound one's struggle. This is generally why actors (and other creative types) may lack the confidence, impetus and mind-set they need, to consistently self-promote! In essence, not seeing immediate results from efforts made during an inspired time is deflating, which derails them from trying again within a reasonable period.

Gum chewing can help us focus. For some reason, the very act of chewing interacts with the brain, and helps to calm and center us. I've heard of studies done with school-aged children, which suggested that cognitive function was improved by letting them chew gum. It seems ADD/ADHD'ers compulsively eat, partly due to this issue. Eating can help us 'change the channel,' break up our boredom or inertia, and improve our mood. The simple mechanics of chewing may engage a part of our brain that helps us override certain symptoms we're struggling with at that moment. If you're routinely having meals or snacks while working at your computer, try chewing gum instead. What have you got to lose, besides a few extra pounds?

Too much ‘alone time’ is tough on ADD'ers. They thrive on stimulation, but may lack the ability to produce it for themselves. Individuals with ADD or ADHD respond best to fairly disciplined/structured schedules, even though they hate regimen! Free time or time-off from work, can easily be frittered away or spent unproductively, and self-reproach is very common under these circumstances. While unstructured time can seem appealing to ADD'ers, an over-abundance of it can make 'em feel dissatisfied, overwhelmed or even, depressed. For some, a sort of emotional autism (stemming from infancy) kicks in, to help them adapt to these deficits in interaction, which may then convert to self-imposed hybernation. While these periods may be somewhat safe/comforting (and familiar), they can also feel imprisoning.

ADD'ers need to balance stimulation and contact with quiet/restorative time, but this can be very challenging. Due to the cyclical nature of this disorder, it's often difficult to make plans in advance or commit to future activities, because ADD'ers cannot predict how they'll be feeling, when an upcoming event actually arrives--which (naturally) influences vacation plans. Getaways may have to be arranged by a partner/spouse, more spontaneous, and be organized in a way that's highly stimulating, activity based and structured, particularly if there are ADHD issues.

No news is always bad news! In the absence of a return phone call, an ADD'er typically scans his or her internal landscape (mentally replaying their behavior and/or dialogues), and hyper-focuses on all the possible reasons they're not hearing back from you! In short, they personalize your lack of responsiveness to them, and can suffer a great deal in the interim before you get around to making contact.

Many ADD'ers can be "late bloomers," because the obstacles they've faced while living with this disorder (and presumptions that "everyone's like this, and it's normal") held them back from tangible achievements and successes earlier in life. What I often hear from people in their forties through sixties is, "I sure wish I'd gotten help with this much sooner--my life would have been so different!"

COGITATION vs PROCRASTINATION:

There's an enormous distinction between cogitation ('kau-ji-tay-shun') and procrastination! To cogitate means you're giving consideration to how you want to go about executing a plan, project or goal. This could be something you've thought about off and on for years, but may feel more ready to tackle now. You're not wanting to just forge ahead and risk making some costly mistakes, so you might cogitate on it awhile, to minimize risk and maximize potential. I'm a huge cogitator. For instance; I may want to start writing an article I've been planning--but my subconscious mind needs time to think it through (or 'chew on it') beforehand. This helps me determine the best way to present the material, bring the pieces together in a clear/cogent manner, figure out a catchy title, and find time to put my accumulated data into an informative, cohesive format. A finished piece take could take months or even years, but I've come to trust that cogitation is an essential part of my creative process. Sometimes, we can kick-start our creativity--but it's very hard to manufacture on demand.

Procrastination is more about delaying an unpleasant task that makes us put it off, due to the emotional, mental or physical demands it puts on us. This could involve anything, from organizing your yearly receipts for your tax preparer, to approaching an uncomfortable but necessary conversation with an associate or close friend. Anything we feel a level of resistance about, is probably going to fall within the procrastination zone--and this is when mock deadlines really come in handy!

HOW IS THIS DISORDER TREATED, AND WHAT CAN HELP?

*Diet; foods that are protein based (eggs, fish, fowl, meats, cheese, certain nuts and seeds) help maintain brain chemistry at levels that facilitate focus and encourage sustained mental activity. Stay away from SOY products, as these can impair cognitive ability, and exacerbate ADD/ADHD issues (for more about the dangers of soy consumption, contact Dr. Kaayla Daniel at: www.wholesoystory.com). Caffeine is often helpful for jump-starting the brain and enhancing focus, but may be counter-productive for ADHD'ers, because it can rev them up too much. Sugary, starchy, high-carbohydrate foods (oatmeal and other breakfast cereals, potatoes, pasta, breads, rice, pastry, etc.) trigger a series of chemical changes in the brain that result in serotonin release. This chemical helps us feel calm and relaxed, but often drowsy or tired--which inhibits concentration and mental acuity. Might be better to save these types of foods for your evening meal or before bedtime. Magnesium supplements at night may be useful in decreasing symptoms.

*Exercise; rigorous workouts that are aerobic bring more blood and oxygen to brain tissue, enabling an enhanced sense of well-being and more feelings of “aliveness.” Running, vigorous walks, sustained weight training, etc., are all positive interventions that help ameliorate symptoms of this disorder.

*Drugs; pharmaceutical intervention can be extremely effective in mitigating a lot of symptoms related to ADD/ADHD. In many instances, you can finally begin to reach goals and dreams that have eluded you thus far, because you’re able to harness the impetus/focus you need to remain stimulated long enough to stick with a project or activity. The feelings you experience during an “up cycle” are available on a more consistent basis with the help of a stimulant. Occasionally it takes a few trials and a bit of time for you and your doctor to figure out which drug will work best for you, but a little patience can yield dramatic, life altering results!

Ritalin and other stimulant drugs start working almost immediately, and have a fairly short half-life (the time it takes to leave your system). This half-life depends on whether you're taking a time-released amphetamine or not. The standard version of a stimulant generally stays in your system for 4 - 6 hours, and is often available in various dosage strengths. As opposed to a daily dose of medication, you may take your stimulant discretionally, or during times you think you really need it! Having a non-time-release version of your stimulant on hand, can more easily facilitate discretional usage. As your physician comes to know you better and he/she is willing to work with you on this, you can take either depending on need. For some, this can be a more favorable option, as amphetamines rev up your brain and body, and (with extended usage) can seriously deplete your system of much needed rest or recovery time.

EXPLORING THE MEDICAL ROUTE . . .

While most of the pharmaceutical drugs used to treat this disorder are amphetamines (controlled substances), which require a special prescription--not all stimulant drugs are classified as amphetamines. If you discovered 'uppers' or "speed" while in college and this helped you maintain focus and study for exams, it could be that you were self-medicating an attention deficit issue! If you have a history of substance addiction or drug abuse, your doctor will avoid prescribing an amphetamine-based drug regimen to help alleviate your symptoms, but this should be addressed in your intake with him/her. Young children should not be prescribed amphetamines such as Ritalin, as it may stunt physical growth. A couple of alternatives to amphetamines such as Ritalin, Dexadrine, Concerta, Adderall, Cylert, etc., are Strattera and Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin is an antidepressant with stimulant properties, and physicians frequently prefer it over amphetamines, for initial drug trials. A good number of my clients have benefitted from WellbutrinXL, which is a recently developed, longer-acting version of this drug. Strattera might be a better option for ADHD'ers, as it's less likely to cause irritability and nervousness.

It seems that ADD has reached almost epidemic proportions in the U.S. and fortunately, new drugs are continually being formulated to effectively treat this disorder with few side effects. If you're on antidepressants in addition to stimulant therapy, read; ARE YOUR ANTIDEPRESSANTS WORKING FOR YOU, OR AGAINST YOU?

Everyone’s blood/brain chemistry is uniquely individual. The trick in effective medical intervention is finding the right formula that works optimally for you. This can be a daunting and frustrating process, but negative side-effects tend to show up pretty quickly (within a few days), and it’s important your doctor assesses a “typical” short term discomfort (as you're adjusting to your meds) from what should prompt a trial with another drug or drug type. Frequently, a change may be called for within a day or two, and should be implemented based on how (and what) you’re feeling. A psychiatrist can usually send you home with some (non-amphetamine) drug samples to try before filling your Rx, and this can save you a great deal of money. The more information you can give him/her about your experience with a current drug therapy, the more positive your outcome will be. If you feel your physician isn't responsive to your needs and concerns, find a doctor who is!

HERE'S AN EXTREMELY EXCITING DISCOVERY . . . !

I've been researching potential benefits of cranial adjustments in relation to ADD and Bipolar Disorders. Preliminary information strongly suggests that this specific mode of treatment can positively impact these neurological issues, particularly if onset of symptoms is associated with head trauma. Relatively few chiropractors specialize in this work, but if you think you'd benefit from seeing someone who does, you can find practitioners who do craniosacral work in your area, by going to The Upledger Institute's website; www.Upledger.com.

Along these same lines of more natural forms of treatment; Omega 3 (fish or flax) EPA/DHA oils may enhance focus and cognitive function, and lessen ADD symptomology. Some individuals have difficulty with these repeating (particularly the fish oil capsules) and understandably, neglect to take them consistently for this reason. Any deep sea or cold water (check the label) fish oil is especially well tolerated (as are the new 'odorless' varieties) and unlikely to repeat or leave an aftertaste. Other types can be taken just prior to eating, to eliminate most of this unpleasantness. Both types can usually be found at most retail health food establishments, or large drugstore chains (like CVS). If you can't find this type of product, ask your local vendor to order it for you! Two to three capsules with each meal may positively impact cognitive function and alleviate depression. These products should be refrigerated once you get them home.

Quite surprisingly, magnets have greatly enhanced my ability to focus for long stretches of time (how else could I get all these articles written?!), and they may also help you. I haven't the slightest idea of how they actually work, but my experiences with them have been pretty amazing! To read my personal account of this and find out where to buy them, click on the link above, which will take you to my RANTS AND RAVES page.

I don't want to neglect to mention homeopathy and bio-feedback. You may be inclined to explore whether these options can be effective for you, before trying pharmaceutical intervention or other forms of treatment. As is the case with any treatment modality, results can vary widely. Some feel that homeopathy and bio-feedback are more effective for children than adults, but (so far) I've not seen outcomes that have seemed conclusive enough to justify the significant time commitment or costs of these approaches.

"WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DON'T GET HELP?"

ADD'ers are frequently misunderstood and misdiagnosed by therapists, as their symptoms can mimic other issues, such as Bipolar and/or Personality Disorders, Attachment Disorder, intimacy issues or non-compliance with treatment. Needless to say, lack of an accurate diagnosis can unnecessarily prolong therapeutic intervention! These issues may be part of your clinical picture, but should definitely be ruled out by someone qualified to identify, differentiate and diagnose ADD/ADHD. Unfortunately, few psychotherapists have learned to recognize and respond to this condition (it's not part of their schooling/training), 'cause it's neurological (not psychological), but troubling and scarring to the psyche just the same. What will happen if you don't get help? NOTHING. And that's the problem!

Typical repercussions from untreated ADD or ADHD are poor self-esteem, emotional and psychological scarring, addiction to various drugs/substances or compulsive behaviors (shopping, gambling, over-eating, etc.) in effort to self-medicate the “down times.” Relationships may be compromised, as the spouse/partner of an ADD'er usually carries the lion's share of responsibility for the couple's financial and emotional balance, as well as social planning and goal setting for the relationship! He or she must frequently manage more of the household and/or parenting tasks. All these elements can lead to feelings of anger and resentment, which prompt conflict in an otherwise compatible and harmonious coupling.

Being romantically involved with someone who has ADHD can be sexually and emotionally frustrating, as his/her attention span and internal rhythms are very different than yours. If you relish intimate contact that includes languid love-making sessions, meaningful conversations and long periods of 'hanging out' with your partner, you'll have difficulty getting these needs met with an ADHD'er. You may require time to replenish and recharge your batteries on the weekends and crave this in your romantic connection, but your partner needs to keep changing the channel with a variety of other activities, which can leave you feeling short-changed in the intimacy zone of your relationship.

Does your partner, friend or relative interrupt you mid-sentence? This can be infuriating, but it's pretty common with ADD/ADHD, and here's why: As you're telling your story, it triggers their memory of a similar experience or issue they'd like to share with you. Because it's difficult for them to retain a thought or idea before their channel changes, they've acquired subtle anxiety that makes them jump in and sweep you away on their tangent, the very moment you touch on something they're wanting to relate! They're not meaning to be rude, they're just attempting to connect with you. Help them become aware of how this makes you feel (frustrated, angry, etc.), and why you suspect it happens. A nearby notepad makes it possible for them write down a word or two, so they can return to it when you've finished speaking, and join you in conversation.

At the start of a new romance, ADD’ers are usually highly stimulated and motivated, but their sense of elation may quickly fade. This can impact their ability to follow-through with contact, or remain engaged long enough to allow a relationship to unfold. This tendency is dramatically influenced by unpredictable and ungovernable mood fluctuations, making ADD'ers feel like they can't always bring their "best self" to the relationship. Naturally, this invokes and reinforces familiar, long-held feelings of shame. In response, they 'hide out' for awhile, hoping to recapture their original enthusiasm. The longer they have to wait for this impetus to return, the more embarrassing and difficult it is for them to resume their previous connection. This issue can be exacerbated by the fact that ADD'ers typically 'scan the horizon' for disaster, in order to feel more control over their existence. This causes them to mentally fast-forward into the future to try and mitigate anxiety about unknown or potentially threatening elements that might lie ahead. In the process, the entire relationship may be envisioned to its conclusion--and the concern this invokes, compounds their need to distance. In essence, they can easily talk themselves out of an involvement, before they've even begun! The potential (new) lover senses a shift in their connection, because there's a visceral departure from what he/she experienced in the beginning. This triggers feelings of confusion and loss, which can be very painful. This issue is exacerbated by Personality Disorders, which may also be part of this picture.

ARE DRUG THERAPY, EXERCISE AND DIET ENOUGH?

Not usually. It's especially helpful to engage the services of a counselor or therapist who's experienced in treating this disorder, so you're supported in learning healthier, more productive coping mechanisms and organizing strategies, in addition to medical intervention you receive. Very typically, there are levels of shame and inferiority you've had to live with most of your life, in relation to how attention deficit issues have influenced your learning capacity and behaviors. Gaining insight into how profoundly this issue has held you back and impacted your self-image and relationships, is crucial to developing a more empowered, self-confident lifestyle.

In extreme cases, you might be incapable of holding down any kind of job, but this is somewhat rare, and may be related to dual or mixed diagnoses which can include mood disorders. This must be explored within your initial psychiatric evaluation, because bipolar issues, dysthymia and ADD/ADHD can easily co-exist. Varying degrees of ADD and atypical forms of Bipolar Disorder are frequently overlooked, which means that an accurate diagnosis of your symptoms may be missed in a 'psych-eval' (psychiatric evaluaton). Once various medical and clinical concerns are ruled out and your ADD has been identified/diagnosed, specialized support can help you perform well in arenas that hold special interest for you, and correspond with your innate talents. Effective therapeutic assistance helps you discover your passions, and gain a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and joy!

"WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS SOONER?!"

Unless you were a hyperactive kid who had a lot of difficulty in school, ADD wasn't suspected, recognized or attended to. In recent years, ADD and ADHD have steadily received more focus than ever before within scholastic and medical communities. Unbelievably, there are 'doctors' (and I'm using the term loosely) who still think this disorder only affects children, and that we “outgrow it” in adulthood! If you’re missing the hyperactivity component in ADHD, your doctor or psychotherapist can easily overlook this diagnosis. This can curtail your progress and extend your talk therapy--which means that a lot of your money could be going down the drain.

If you have a child with ADD, it's crucial that you introduce him/her to topics or activities he/she might enjoy or find interesting and stimulating. Each child has his own unique talents and genius! One of your most important tasks as a parent, is finding out what these are, and gently encouraging expression and expansion in these arenas. Your nurturing, patient support combined with a greater understanding of the obstacles your child wrestles with, will make a substantial difference in Who he becomes as an adult, and how he feels about himself throughout the remainder of his life! Learning about ADD will help you develop more compassion for your child or partner, and assist him/her in getting the help they need to move forward. If you’re an adult who's personally resonating with what you’ve read here, it can be highly beneficial to explore treatment options, so you can begin creating a richer, more rewarding life, and actually achieve your dreams!

 

You'll find more information about ADD in FORUM LETTERS, Volume II (scroll to the bottom of that page). Phone sessions are available. If you're seeking assistance with this issue or your group/organization would like me to speak on this topic, contact me.

Reminder: If you wish to share this article with someone you care about, make sure you capitalize "ADD" in this link, or they won't be able to find it! Example; www.GettinBetter.com/ADD.html.

If you're a clinician who's interested in learning more about recognizing/ diagnosing/treating Attention Deficit Disorders in your practice, individual training and group lectures are available. E-mail or phone for details.

 

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