I'm troubled that too many female and male therapists try to feminize men, and neglect to honor/respect the quintessential differences between females and males. They seem to disregard the masculine archetype, while encouraging men toward greater "sensitivity."
To my mind, this clinical subjectivity is a dangerous misuse of power by clinicians who may fear the primal aspects in men, which can have emotionally castrating outcomes for their clients. My male clients have always been helped to grow from timid little boys into genuinely confident Men~ not women.
This is a process that not only utilizes concrete, self-worth building tools, but consistent guidance and encouragement to quit demonizing a male’s angry, rageful or aggressive feelings, and learn to accept and EMBRACE these emotions as normal facets, inherent within every human’s personality repertoire.
Men are NOT supposed to think, feel or react like women do. If you punch or hit a guy, his instinctive and reflexive response to the pain he’s incurred, is to hurt ya back, without considering the repercussions that might await him.
An old (now deceased) platonic friend of mine once said, “when a woman hits a man, she’s playing a MAN’S game, and she’d better be prepared for his volatile reaction.” I never forgot this, because it made absolutely rational sense to me. Case in point, FAR too many males are physically battered in their relationships with Borderline Personality Disordered gals, yet take those repetitious assaults with a grain of salt. This is a bad thing, and it’s merely because males have been indoctrinated all their lives, to NEVER strike a woman (no matter WHAT)!
I detest domestic violence, yet thousands of BPD females get away with hitting, kicking, biting and throwing large, heavy kitchen objects at their lovers and spouses, and nobody does a goddamned thing about it. These men who are coupled with Borderlines are scared little boys. They surrendered their testicles many years ago, with the fervent hope that someone, someday would respect, adore and care for them far better than their vicious BPD mother did.
Men are programmed to accept and tolerate abuse, because that’s all they ever knew, growing up. So, the women they choose to STAY with are cut from the same cloth as Mother! These guys just never seem to recognize the connection between how they were made to feel about themselves as little boys, and how they’re forced feel about themselves as adult men, under consistent abuse by a partner. Newsflash: Men are sensitive creatures, and often far surpass the level of "sensitivity" many females purport to have.
Nobody, but NOBODY can abuse you unless you let ‘em. The question you must routinely ask yourself when you’re feeling bad, sad, or even numb, is: Is this Prize WORTH the Price I keep paying?
If we can help you stop being afraid to assert for your own feelings and needs, you’ll quickly realize that it isn’t~ OR, you’ll remain a scared little boy who’s adapted to abusive treatment, and Manhood will forever represent an elusive fantasy for you.
Outgrowing your threshold for accepting abuse, literally means healing the self-worth issues that attracted you to it in the first place. Sit on THAT and spin.