Confrontation Anxiety

Confrontation is easier than you think, so rather than freezing up or sweeping your feelings under the rug when you have to speak with someone about what’s troubling you, practicing this method will shrink and ultimately end your fear of confrontation!

Breathe deep. Notice the very first feelings you’re aware of when you imagine having a difficult interaction with someone (is it fear, discomfort, anxiety, awkwardness, etc.?). Start there! Speak of these feelings as you start the talk you’re wanting to have with another.

Our feelings are like the layers of an onion. The brown, slippery, papery skin is always the hardest to slice through, and it represents the very first set of emotions that come up when you think about getting something off your chest.

This initial step diffuses dark, icky feelings, gets 100% of the other’s attention (plus a little empathy, because who can’t relate to how hard it is to have a difficult dialogue?). This tool greases the way for the rest of your communication to flow! Practice makes perfect. Each time you re-use this technique, it gets a bit easier and less anxiety-provoking than the last time around!

You’re being offered specific methods to help you learn how to confront Anyone about Anything at Any time! Most people dread confrontation, because no one has given them essential tools they’ve needed, to do it effectively.

Remember to check-in first with whatever feelings and sensations you’re aware of, when you imagine approaching someone with what’s felt troubling to you.

Saying those first feelings out loud, “this is difficult for me.” Or, “I’m feeling (scared, uncomfortable, awkward, etc.)” is what diffuses that first layer of emotions for you, and helps you relax!

Now you’ve sliced into that tough skin with a sharp, serrated knife edge, and the rest of the layers are juicy, tender and much easier to cut through. In short, now that you’ve set this exchange up correctly for yourself, you’ve greased the way for the rest of whatever you want to say, and it flows much easier.

Remember to practice your presentations~ or have what I call, “Dress Rehearsals.” Write out a short script if you like, and read it over and over, aloud. Practice your monologue in the bathroom mirror, or when you’re doing ironing, gardening or another activity where you’re using both hands. Working or creating with your hands helps your left-brain (the practical, logical side of you) converse more easily with your right-brain (your feeling side). 

Use phrases that convey what you need to say, and practice, practice, practice. Pay attention in this video, to how to handle interruptions! If someone doesn’t let you speak and convey your feelings, they don’t respect or care about them, or you.  

I’ve always said, there are two important things you’ve got to remember in this lifetime: Know what your bottom line is, and when to walk away from the deal.