Here's what ya gotta know:

People who grew up with neglect and abuse will not readily respond to your needs or outreaches. It takes you getting pretty confrontive with 'em, just to get their attention.

Few of us ENJOY having to access our dark side to get our needs responded to, and yet some people make this necessary~ or you'll wait forever for a call-back, a task you need taken care of, or whatever.

A harsh approach is often the ONLY thing that breaks thru an abused adult-child's awareness, activates their anxiety response, and (finally) motivates 'em to do what's asked of them. I understand this is not a pleasant issue to accept. I know a lot of you wish it weren't the case~ but plenty of life experience has taught me that it's true.

Now, if you're involved with, living with or married to one of these abused adult children, your harsher, darker aspects are gonna be routinely called upon, just to get thru each day. Your partner might bitch and moan about how "angry" or "mean" you are, but the truth is, being gentle with 'em yields no result. You might as well be talking to a brick, for all the good it does you.

This same principle holds true in professional dealings. Oftentimes, you won't be able to get your needs met, until you rear up on your haunches, and come at a company like you mean business!

Even in my practice, I've often had to employ 'tough love' with a client, just to bring their attention to how they're self-sabotaging, or get them to use 'power tools' I've given 'em that will assist them in turning a corner, and climbing out of the hole they've dug for themselves. I call this measure, "shock treatment."

You might not think this this belongs anywhere within a healing modality of intervention, but it's the only thing that breaks thru one's non-feeling bubble constructed with many years of dissociation from emotions, and forces them to either change, or quit treatment.

Not everyone WANTS to be well. Getting well involves a significant paradigm shift, and alters one's entrenched, defective identity and how they regard themselves. For many, this is too frightening to ponder, much less, allow.

If you have these people who aren't making strides in your practice, it's best to let 'em go IF they won't hold up under firm direction from you. OR, you might just be like a lot of clinicians who naively believe they can eventually help Everyone, and you're afraid to let go of the income you tell yourself you need, while that "difficult client" of yours sucks your energy dry every goddamned week.

  • Home
  • /
  • Blog
  • /
  • Do YOU accept your shadow Self, and are you willing to wield it to get your needs met?