Just wondering how it might feel to ya, if you phoned a friend or acquaintance and said, "I just wanted (or needed) to hear a friendly voice today," rather than, "I've been wondering how you're doing."
I think for most humans, we occasionally wanna feel a sense of connection~ and it isn't really about the other, or our concern for 'em. So must we bypass our own feelings, and engage in this type of outreach??
We don't wanna be perceived as needy. If you can make your motivation for calling, about Them instead of You, doesn't it feel more empowering to ya?
Often, when someone calls me wanting to know how I AM, the tone of their voice instantly alerts me that they're needing me to know how They are. Their energetic vibration isn't joyous or light, which comes thru to me right away.
I am known by my friends, to occasionally reach out when I'm simply wanting to hear a friendly voice. We might be on the phone a few minutes, or it could turn into a marathon~ but I always come away from that exchange feeling more contentment and comfort, than when I went into it.
Bottom line, folks~ if you can check in with yourself BEFORE you make that call to a friend, and assess what YOU might be needing, your outreaches might become more honest, satisfying and fruitful.
Are ya feeling flat or bored? It's okay! Do a couple minutes of deep breathing into those sensations in your body and self-soothe. Are ya feeling isolated? It's fine! Deep breathe into the uneasy feelings you're having and stay the fuck outta your head about it, before you make that phone call.
In short, start allowing yourself to have NEEDS. It's a normal part of the human experience! Maybe you've gone thru life as a fixer, caregiver, rescuer who's been trained since early childhood to be 'other-oriented' and you ignore your own feelings and needs, but you're still entitled to HAVE EM!
Stop shaming yourself for having any needs, and try to adjust to being human for a change! You will benefit from this, and so will your relationships.
Besides, when ya call someone in need of "hearing a friendly voice," they feel complimented you TRUST them enough to be responsive to you! In short, you empower them, instead of making 'em feel like they require your vigilant watch. Is it okay with you that you each may have needs at various times, or do you always have to be the one who is need-less?