I met a woman one day at the post office. We enjoyed a friendly chat, and both seemed interested in exploring a friendship.

During a subsequent phone dialogue, it was apparent we had much in common. Our attitudes and views on life were similar, and our personalities were too.

I felt hopeful that a friendship could ensue, until she stated the following: "I'm not very good at keeping up contact with people," which I HEARD as, "it's up to YOU to maintain contact if you want it, because I won't be making any effort in that direction."

I'm not at all interested in lopsided (or non-reciprocal) relationships, so needless to say, I never called her again.

If you're paying close attention and you respect and LIKE yourself, people tell or show you EXACTLY who they are, pretty fucking early in the game. Who they are might not be in sync with the agenda YOU have for a relationship with em, and you might betray yourself by ignoring your own principles and priorities, but the data's there for you to learn from, just the same!

Loneliness is NEVER about your need for another. It's about your utter disconnection from a nourishing, friendly relationship bond WITH YOU. If you feel desperate to BE with someone else, it usually means you can't stand being alone with Yourself, because it's an abusive, tormenting relationship experience.

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