Until you fix what's broken in you, none of the domains of your life can function well. This is not to say you can't be financially successful~ it means you will not be able to derive contentment, joy or gratification from all that money you're making. There will still exist a hollow inside you~ an emptiness that no amount of cash can fill.

The narcissistic personality (be they borderline disordered or not) has a dramatically skewed value system. Money is their god. No other value in life holds as much promise to them, nor spawns as much motivation. Financial gain is the one arena they believe they can CONTROL, whereas deep, enduring intimate attachments, spiritual richness, authentic self-esteem all play a lesser role, in terms of their strivings.

This personality has NEVER felt safe in their world from infancy onward. There exists a gaping hole in their soul they keep trying to fill with physical and material gains, but in procuring those things, there's only a fleeting sense of novelty and satisfaction~ and then it's back to the grindstone to manufacture the only tangible sense of stability and "safety" they've ever known or imagined.

It is commonly believed that multi-billionaires are happy people. I wish it were true.

With each material gain, a new hunger is catalyzed, and "enough" (money) never feels like enough. WHY?? Because all the cash in the world cannot fill the hole in one's soul that has existed their entire life, once they left their mother's womb and couldn't receive from her the adoration they needed, to feel good enough and lovable.

Narcissists use money to buy your love or approval. Some always pick up the check in restaurants, and shower you with gifts if you're romantically involved with them... but does this make you feel truly valued and adored? Is this close to the way your mom and dad made you feel like they loved you, as a kid? Did you come to measure their affection for you by the cost value of the presents you got from em?

I think until we GET something we think is gonna make us "happy" and it doesn't, we will never understand what hollow victory feels like, and how frequently it catapults us into an existential crisis.

As a teen, I was a late bloomer. I used to pray every night for God to give me breasts. My girlfriends all had breasts and their periods, and up until a month before my 15th birthday, I was still waiting for mine! My metabolism finally shifted around my junior year in high school, and I developed boobs! I also gained a lot of weight overall, and began a dieting regimen that took on characteristics of bulimia and anorexia.

My point is, once I had breasts I wasn't any happier. In fact, it wasn't long before I took them for granted. I'd finally gotten what I wanted for years, yet it brought me no real satisfaction or glee.

If you believe that stupendous financial security and wealth will make you happy or help you feel safe in your world, you're mistaken. Your anxiety about not having enough money, will shift to how you can shelter, protect and hang onto it.

Happiness is an Inside Job. It's solely dependent on building a nourishing, friendly, healthy relationship bond with YOU. That's something nobody can take from ya. That's something even losing your entire fortune or a beloved, significant other can't obliterate.

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