It's natural to desire a sense of connection with other people, but the somewhat painful inner-sensation of LONELINESS is far less about our need for another, than our profound disconnection from Self.

A lot of people are hard on themselves. They chastise, blame, shame and guilt themselves in subtle ways, every single day. When they fail to meet their self-expectations, they're very harsh with themselves, which is fertile ground within which seeds of depression germinate and grow.

When we seek someone to LOVE us, we're often just wanting somebody to view us differently and better than we see ourselves, and change our mind about us! A new relationship gives us temporary distraction and respite from the subtle, but continuous beatings we've delivered to ourselves 24/7 since we were very young, due to faulty parenting.

In short, what we're REALLY wanting when we feel "lonely," is a Bandaid to soothe our Self-Inflicted injuries. While this is completely understandable, never actually fixes our unhappiness or discontent, beyond a very fleeting sense of relief.

Try to think of your relationship with YOU, as your primary and most important attachment (who do you spend the most time with, after all?). There will be "good times" and bad. There will be times you're feeling highly motivated, productive and creative, and times you won't. This is NORMAL.

What's NOT normal, is how you despise the quiet times, the less-than motivated times, the "unproductive" times, and the Herculean methods you employ to run away from those, because they feel uncomfortable, and may not match how you prefer to envision your "Ideal Self."

The human body and brain are remarkable, but they cannot hold up and function optimally for long stretches of time, without rest. Some people say, "I'll sleep when I'm dead." And these are the folks who never recognize the incredible burden of stress they perpetuate for themselves on a daily basis.

In my ADD article online, I speak to the importance of allowing for and accommodating "down time." Busy-bodies (people always in motion, either cerebrally or physically) never welcome these periods, because they harshly judge them as wrong or bad~ an attitude that somehow got implanted in them by their parental units. It's not that these messages were transmitted to the child directly, it's that children learn from EXAMPLE who to be and NOT to be, as they grow into adulthood.

Your Subconscious never rests. It's working 24/7 to help you resolve problems and find solutions to issues. Think of it as your best friend, who's always there to help~ but it does its BEST work, when your conscious mind is not interfering with the process.

Our dreams can offer rich sources of healing, inspiration and growth, but they only come to us from the subconscious mind when we are asleep, and our consciousness is switched OFF. During waking hours, the same thing happens for us, when we're aware of feeling flat, bored, empty, or just plain uninspired.

During THESE times, it's best to create something with our hands, which allows our Subconscious to play with ideas and concepts in the background, while our body is attending to a simple, creative or reparative task.

This focus might take the form of gardening, drawing or sculpting, fixing a small appliance or repairing a broken piece of furniture. Maybe you've always wanted a leather chair to be a different color, and you buy a kit that enables you to turn it into a fabulous looking item in your home. Perhaps you're into jewelry making, and it feeds your soul while you're working on a new necklace or bracelet. The point is, you're not only getting the much needed REST you need for your body and brain, you're allowing your Subconscious mind to ramp you up for your next vibrantly energetic "push" cycle.

So, try to be kind and encouraging to yourself when ya have time alone with you. Comment out loud to yourself when you're watching a movie or enjoying a series on Netflix or Prime, as if someone's viewing it alongside you. Think of alone time as being WITH yourself, rather than BY yourself~ because there will never be anyone else who'll be willing to tolerate your ups AND downs better than You~ so try to get good at it.

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