Nearly everybody thinks, there's one really special person out there for me, and it's just a matter of time, before I find him or her. This is self-defeating thinking.

During my dating career, I had marvelous love affairs in-between all the casual, sexual encounters. I was never actually LOOKING for love, but was fortunate to have formed several meaningful attachments along the way.

These relationships didn't last past 3 - 4 years, because I was always so committed to my own growth and healing journey, I outgrew them. My emotional breakdown at 20 was the basis for my determined efforts never to be that depressed ever again, so it was the catalyst for my having become who I am today.

The truth about life and love, is that we experience intense connection with another at least 3 - 6 times during our lifetime. There MAY be a Mr. or Miss Right for us, but there are far more than one, and each person we meet who feels like a perfect match for us, comes with no guarantee they'll remain so (which is why our divorce rate is so fucking high).

Seldom do people continue to grow ALONGSIDE one another. Rarely do two people have the same irrepressible desire to keep growing, healing and evolving. Such was the case for me, which is why I never married. I just couldn't see hitching my wagon to a man who a few years later, wouldn't be a good match for me.

People move in and out of loving, adoring feelings for each other. It's just part of living. Nobody can hold that initial intensity we feel when we become enamored with another, 24/7. It's totally unrealistic. Hell, we can't even feel intense infatuation for OURSELVES 24/7, so what makes think we can have those feelings continuously endure for somebody else?! What an absurd notion!

Let yourself accept the real fact that you'll "fall in love" AT LEAST several times during this life cycle. You'll also fall OUT of love, because you continue to develop and evolve, and your beloved may not grow as rapidly as You can.

IF your love affair is capable of enduring while you both are growing alongside each other, you've got the rare makings of a long-term relationship. If not, try and remember that they were the RIGHT person at that stage in your development. It benefitted you to dance with them for awhile, because they gave you love, contributed to your growth, and you came to know Yourself more intimately during that excursion into learning how to love and be loved.

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