There's always gonna be a bit of mourning when ya amputate family members out of your life (or even friends, for that matter). The reason is, when you've given literally everything you've got to forge and solidify a connection with 'em and finally realize all your efforts were in vain because they're too fucked up to respond like a normal human, it's like losing them to death.

Your Adult self feels freedom and relief~ even exhilaration~ but your Child self grieves the loss of someone with whom you'd always yearned to bond securely and profoundly.

You will vacillate wildly for awhile, emotionally. You'll rage and you'll cry. You'll mourn about what you'd always hoped for, but never got from that parent or sibling. It's all okay.

Riding an emotional roller-coaster is quite normal at these times. It means you've cared enough to WANT a solid connection. It means there's a deep ache inside you for never having felt truly loved by 'em. And it means you have every fucking right to feel angry and rageful about it!

Don't shame yourself for your anger or rage. Trust that it's totally appropriate and necessary, in order to help you thru your healing process.

We go thru our entire lives looking to bond securely and safely to another, mostly because we were never able to, during our infancy and childhood experiences with people who were SUPPOSED to know how to love us properly and well enough, so we'd never EVER question our worth or lovability.

The sad reality is, most of us have always questioned our worth. We keep searching for the missing piece of our emotional puzzle, but if we're lucky enough we find it in a mentor, an older adult friend, a distant relative (who's considerably more sane than the ones we grew up with).

Many of us need help to recognize our lovability and true worth. Make sure you never give up trying to find this light in the darkness you've had to endure. These people are around you and wish to supply what you've missed out on~ so offer up a little prayer that you will find each other soon, and be graced with the support and care you've always wanted and needed. Amen.

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