You can love a Borderline. You might even admire and respect someone who has BPD traits~ but ya can't trust em as far as you can throw em.

Some have gotten so clever and adept with their manipulations and deceits, even the most skilled and clinically experienced of professionals are blind to the dangers that lurk beneath their seemingly sincere personas.

How is it possible to LOVE someone you can't trust? It isn't. If you're smart, you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop~ and doesn't that feel too goddamned close to how you spent your entire childhood??

A former friend showed up to my salon for a haircut many years ago, with a woman he'd met just 6 weeks earlier, and told me he was excited about. He casually announced they were engaged. This was a courtship that had lasted only SIX WEEKS!!!

She seemed nice. She was charming and attractive, but there was something about her I instantly didn't trust. You can never put your finger on this stuff, it's just a gut feeling you have when ya meet someone (with any luck).

It turned out she was BPD, just like his first wife had been. He went thru hell again in the process of divorcing yet another Borderline. I held his hand thru it all, but what a fucking mess!

I referred him to my (then) gal pal who was a brilliant therapist, hoping she could do some growth work with this dude, so he'd never find himself in the thick of it again with a BPD female. My colleague and friend was very close with a psychologist, who was pretty desperate to find a man and get married again. She directly orchestrated a meeting between my male buddy and her psychologist friend, but called it "fate."

My male friend had declared that after his first two marriages, he wasn't ever gonna wed again. This PhD woman wasn't toxic like the BPD wives he'd had before her, and being a People Pleaser/rescuer type, he allowed himself to be manipulated into marrying again~ despite protestations from me.

Segue to right after they married, she had severe health issues, and he was suddenly plagued with his own! She had a second bout with breast cancer, and then developed leukemia. They were both 10K and marathon runners before they wed, incidentally.

He became her nursemaid. He gave her round the clock care, when he wasn't in his law office, and boy, did she drain his emotional resources! Why have I assigned BPD to this psychologist he married? Well, the traits weren't very apparent or obvious, but both her grown son and daughter are emotionally crippled, and have never become financially self-sufficient adults.

If I saw that shit in context of someone I was dating, I'd run for the hills and never look back~ because who you are as a person, is who you are as a parent~ and folks, this ain't ever gonna change. I don't know if they're still doing their Codependent Cha Cha, because HE betrayed our 40+ year friendship a few years back, I've had no contact with either of em OR my former friend who abandoned him as a client when she (unethically) introduced him to her BFF, since.

All I can tell ya is, I'm the kinda gal that if I can't TRUST ya, I can't love ya. You're dead to me.

Remember my dears~ like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock

together. Ya can't keep dating and marrying people with BPD traits, unless You have em too.