"Nobody's perfect" is a phrase I've heard dozens of times from prospective clients in reference to their BPD ex. It's true ya know, no human is perfect, and we were never designed to be. But while you're busily making excuses and allowances for others, do you ever cut YOURSELF any slack??
I recently met a man I felt attracted to~ which for Me, is rarer than a full solar eclipse. I swear to God, I don't think it's happened in nearly 14 years.
Anyway, some flirty banter emerged within this unmistakably mutual attraction, and it felt a lot like welcoming a close friend back into my personality. I'd presumed for some years now, this facet in myself was well beyond dormant, and had taken its last breath at least a decade ago.
I haven't missed this part, mind you. How can you miss something that's non-existent? Other needs, values and priorities take center stage as we age, and while the basic, fundamental Self doesn't change much, our locus of attention tends to spread itself into arenas we never even gave consideration to, when we were much younger (like politics, for instance).
So, here's this man who's unwittingly resuscitating this aspect of Shari Schreiber, and I'm enjoying it immensely~ well, more like I'm relishing a facet of me I've presumed was dead and buried~ and it's feeling like, "HELLO, old friend."
Now, sexual attraction has been the leading cause of relationship pursuits for most of us, because it invigorates such strong sensations and emotions, it's virtually impossible to ignore or brush-off as unimportant. Ya just can't help fantasizing about what someone's hands are gonna feel like, caressing your body~ or what it might be like to be kissed by 'em.
I've consciously been reigning myself in, with respect to all that lovely, gooey, irresistible stuff. I've listened intently to what's been shared, observed various personality dimensions, 'heard' things that might constitute Red Flags, and done my level best to diligently temper my vagina's monologue, that yearns to explore this further!
The thing is though, when you've lived and loved long enough during the course of a lifetime, you come to implicitly trust (with any luck) what your SENSES are making you aware of. So, when I'm off and running with romantic ideations, my inner-voice is saying "but what about THIS or THAT?"
Becoming psychologically and emotionally sentient is both a blessing AND a curse, because ya can't NOT know what you know is true and correct, on a CELLULAR level in your body! You can choose to brush those awarenesses aside or make light of em, but LIFE experience has taught you there's gonna be a heavy price you'll inevitably have to pay for ignoring these extra-sensory impressions and warnings.
I mean, just how many times have YOU said to yourself in hindsight, "I just KNEW I shouldn't have gotten involved with that person!" ?? The truth is, throughout my entire dating career, I always paid real close attention to who I slept beside. For me, it was a survival strategy that came naturally. God knows, I'd had more than enough abandonment as a child, I sure as fuck wasn't gonna set myself up for MORE, as an adult.
Bottom line folks, your GUT senses will NEVER lie to you, and you can take this to the bank. It's not that your cunt or dick won't have their own agenda, and you'll be tempted to override what your senses and perceptions are telling you about someone~ but if ya don't listen closely to those messages, you're likely to end up with your heart broken, and in My humble view, that's too heavy a price to pay for a little fun between the sheets.
Someone with BPD traits does NOT fall under the banner of "nobody's perfect." These people can make your life feel like a living hell and deplete your financial resources, denigrate your physical health, and make ya wish you'd never met em, because your sick craving for that person isn't gonna diminish for a VERY long time (IF EVER), without highly specialized and gifted professional help.