A YouTube follower sent me a concern he recently had about his therapist, which prompted this Facebook post. I think it's pretty fucking vital and important, so I've uploaded it here to my blog page, for you to ingest:
If you can't safely express your anger and/or rage toward the professional who's supposed to be helping you heal and grow emotionally, you're paying the wrong person to assist you. They won't be able to get you well.
I ALWAYS encouraged my clients to express their anger and rage toward me~ and oftentimes, I even backed em into a corner and coaxed it out of em! IF your clinician isn't okay with YOUR darker emotions, it means they're divorced from their own, due to having judged em harshly their whole life.
I'm well-versed in pissing people off. I wanna see and hear GENUINE uncensored emotion, regardless of WHAT it is, because if you're not willing to go there, ya can't turn the corners you need to, in order to recover from anxiety and depression. They just stay locked inside ya, as do all your addictive/compulsive and personality disorder traits!
Most "therapists" have a deep need to stay up on a pedestal of Your making. It's not a real relationship dynamic you have with em, because they're always pulling rank on ya, and sitting in the superior position! IF they can't or WON'T accept and welcome your darker emotions, it MEANS they've they've harshly judged their OWN lifelong, and have dissociated from those vital, passionate emotions within themselves!
So, the question that begs to be asked here is, how the fuck can a person like this help YOU become emotionally integrated, self-actuated, whole and WELL?? If they're still afraid of their own anger and rage, and hold great disdain toward themselves when they experience these emotions, how can they possibly have healthy self-esteem~ OR hope to help YOU grow yours??
Can you like and respect yourself, if you've cast personality facets and a litany of emotions out of your feeling repertoire? Well, CAN YOU?? Of course not, dummy!
This person who wrote me, had enough emotional courage to tell their therapist he/she was angry with her. "She made a face" and commented she's "only human." But what happened here, is this client felt disapproved of and censored.
The therapist (and I'm using the term very loosely) never explored her client's anger toward her (probably didn't wanna know about it) and there's no fucking way the client will get an apology from that therapist, for having screwed up and pissed em off. How fucking SAD is this??
If you aren't safe feeling and expressing authentic emotions to your "therapist," who the hell CAN you feel safe expressing em to? And didn't a lot of us grow up in environments just like this??
Truly MARVELOUS therapeutic opportunities are missed every goddamned day during client sessions, and the main reason this happens?? The clinician is underdeveloped, can't handle a reflection from anyone that isn't light and positive~ or that suggests they may have made a mistake.
How is a patient or client possibly gonna grow and flourish under these conditions?? You know the answer, don't ya? They CAN'T. Haven't YOU wasted a lotta time, energy and money, paying people to help you heal, that have missed the boat on accomplishing that task? Aren't you still engaging in behaviors that harm you~ even if it's just routinely over-eating, or being irresponsible about your spending?