In Healing work, your background is of NO importance. Revealing or recounting the trauma you've incurred either in childhood OR adulthood, is not at all needed, in order for you to become emotionally whole and well.
Psychotherapy relishes delving into eons of personal history to discover the "root cause" of your agony. This in My experience, is a fucking waste of your time and money, because insight alone, does not eradicate human pain~ it merely explains and justifies it.
People have for DECADES wanted to tell me their whole life story, with the mistaken notion that it's necessary, in order to be helped or healed. NOTHING could be farther from the truth.
I've always said, the intent of "Psychotherapy" is to help you feel better. The purpose of core-trauma FEELING work, is to help you learn to feel Everything, so you're no longer needing to dissociate from your own emotions, out of a sense of fear or dread.
When we grow up afraid to experience our difficult or painful feelings, we become expert at dissociating from them. Disconnection from our emotions (any of 'em) means disconnection from the Self.
If you're disconnected from yourself (not attached) how can you possibly feel even remotely SAFE, connecting with and attaching to another?! The answer is, YOU CAN'T.
Furthermore, if you're not associating with ALL the feelings and facets within you, how the hell can someone else?! How's another person gonna get to feel close to you, if you're closed-off from Yourself?
Who we attract, is who we are. We are as impaired as the lovers we select, and we vibrate at identical emotional frequencies. If we can OUTGROW our fear (from childhood) of genuinely attaching to another, we start manifesting the KIND of person who can actually reciprocate our love~ but if we still feel unworthy of BEING deeply loved, we won't.
Some really smart clients who are trapped in this endless, painful cycle of chasing love in all the wrong places, have come thru my healing practice. Many have been licensed psychologists with BPD traits, which makes it virtually impossible for them to welcome a nourishing, serene, loving, romantic partnership.
They are perpetually drawn to BPD lovers, because they themselves, still possess the same core trauma deficits, like poor self-worth, and arrested emotional development! You get the feeling while working with these folks, that you're speaking with a pre-adolescent. They simply cannot connect the dots on their current misery and how they're addicted to perpetuating it, because it engenders stimulation and feelings of aliveness for 'em.
These folks will likely circle the drain the rest of their lives, unless one day in their 50's or 60's and by the grace of God, they get inspired to do the inner work on themselves that allows for growth and true healing.