If you ask thousands of guys, they'll tell you they think women are "a little crazy." This has been an easy conclusion for men to reach, because they're accustomed to putting their feelings and needs aside, so as not to make waves or create conflict with their significant other. Discord with their lover they've learned, means affection and sexual interplay will not be available to them for an indefinite period of time.

When it comes to the subject of Emotions, many men see women as somewhat trigger-happy. Emotional volatility in females appears to have been long-accepted by males and even taken for granted as a certainty one must accommodate, when one thinks of entering a romantic liaison with the fairer sex. In short, it just "goes with the territory," when ya fall in love. But DOES IT??

How did so many men acquire the idea, that if they crave love and sex with a female, CRAZINESS comes with the package? Did it happen merely by chance~ or is it the result of decades of encountering the same outcome with every female they try to bond with?! I propose it's the latter.

The question that begs to be asked of millions of men therefore, becomes: Is the Prize worth the Price a man pays for "Love??"

I've stated for decades, who we grow up loving, whether they RETURNED our adoration or not, is who we bond with in adulthood. If you were raised by a mom with BPD traits, you'll be attracted to these features in every female you want to pursue, as an adult.

Far too many men and women associate painful feelings of longing and yearning for warmth and affection, with the emotion of love, itself. This grew into a learned definition of "love" we adopted as infants and young children, due to never having been ABLE to receive the kind of nurturance from our mothers we needed, to affirm that we were lovable and good enough. That constant hunger in us was never adequately met, and we've sought to satisfy our insatiable appetite for love and affection, ever since!

It matters NOT how many times a parent SAYS "I love you." What a small child interprets and understands as his lovability, are physical gestures of warmth and affection COMBINED with tender words of acknowledgment and praise. You can tell a dog all day long that you love him, but if you neglect to pet and play with that animal, does he KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt, you really do? It's the same with human children.

Emotionally sound, healthy people are NOT drawn into relationships with Borderlines. We have no frame of reference or threshold for accepting or tolerating neglect or abuse from another. It's not a part of our life experience. It feels foreign and profoundly uncomfortable. We're inclined to run like hell away from any source that triggers this discomfort in us, as fast as possible.

Regardless of whatever inner wounding a Borderline grew up with, if we stick with that person (no matter HOW great the sex is with him or her) we incurred wounds in childhood that precisely MATCH theirs. The difference is, we can feel compassion for our Borderline's childhood emotional injuries, but never our own.

WE grew up needing to become powerful and in-control. The way we kept ourselves going and surmounted our setbacks and challenges, may have turned us into Super-givers in the process, which can only attract someone who cannot give back to us, but whose survival depends on taking whatever they CAN.

For many compulsive givers (or Codependents), this means they're a bottomless pit of giving, while their partner is a bottomless pit of need that can NEVER be filled or satisfied. When you're involved with a borderline disordered lover, you give up chunks of yourself and compromise, until there's virtually nothing left of You. I've seen this happen to men dozens of times. They become a mere shadow of their former self.

And why do men and women allow this to happen to them, you ask? The answer is simple: They do it for "Love" ~at least, what they THINK true love is supposed to feel like, based on their earliest, somewhat painful experiences with that emotion.

Self-actualized, emotionally well-developed, healthy, real women DO exist, though they're rare. They are not erratic in temperament or mood, nor do they seem "a little crazy." They enjoy serenity and calm, and are as deeply invested in maintaining a harmonious relationship bond, as You are.

Sex and affection are not used as manipulation tactics, nor are they withheld from you indefinitely, if a disappointment or disagreement erupts. A real woman wants to resolve misunderstandings with you as quickly and thoroughly as possible, and works WITH you to build more trust and intimacy, so you can grow an even deeper bond as a couple.

So men, try to remember that what you expect out of life and love, is what you create and accommodate. Think about finding expert guidance to get a bit healthier, so you can start being attracted to women who can supply the love you NEED, without having to make huge compromises, to get it.

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