You might be familiar with the age-old philosophical question, "if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around to hear it, does it make a sound?" I've often thought about this query in context of how we humans view ourselves, if nobody's immediately present to mirror us. 

If you're not in a committed relationship, do you assume it's because you're not worthy of being loved? In my experience, far too many people have grown up with this presumption, so if they're uncoupled, they see themselves as flawed, unlovable, defective and sometimes, hideous or atrocious. 

If we apply these principles universally, any company or individual who has a product to sell and takes it to market, will judge the overall value of their product as "bad," if it isn't vehemently sought after and purchased to the extent it's flying off the shelves (virtual or otherwise) of every facility that carries it. But is this really an accurate assessment of the product's worth or value??

Music and entertainment industries, fast food conglomerates and just about every single product-distributing or selling venture there is, does a tremendous amount of market research prior to making their invention or item available to the public. We mere humans however, seem to ignore the importance of selling to the right audience as a critical and determining factor with respect to our product's potential for success!

Many of us feel desperate for love, yet do we market ourselves to the right audience? Our romantic selections are based of course, on how we were related to and treated by our parental units, from infancy onward. If we didn't get enough positive mirroring and affection, we presumed it was our fault, and we were defective. This remains the opinion of ourselves we retain lifelong, unless and until highly specialized healing intervention is obtained to radically alter our hard-wired childhood concept of ourselves. 

If we can't believe we're lovable or good enough, based on the lack of affection and nurturance we experienced as children, our bar for relationships is much lower, than if we grew up knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt, we are well-worth being adored and cherished! As a result, we grow up trying to 'sell' ourselves to an audience that's incapable of offering us love, support and respect beyond that which our defective parents could~ because that 'low bar,' came to feel familiar and "normal" to us.

Everybody is too concerned with "loving themselves." If you've tragically grown up not being able to receive genuine love, it's a totally abstract concept for you! You're shooting in the dark with regard to liking, respecting or maintaining a decent level of admiration for Yourself~ much less, feeling these things for someone else. The bottom line? If YOU don't think you're worth loving, how can you ever trust anyone who believes you ARE?? 

Whom we choose to love is a precise reflection of how lovable or unlovable we believe ourselves to be! If we feel really good about ourselves, we won't settle for even a moment, for someone who doesn't match our self-view, and treats us accordingly! This is central to why self-worth building inner-work is utterly crucial to our ability to acquire happiness, contentment and inner peace~ whether we are coupled or not. 

Make sure you objectively examine your views about love, and whether or not you are worthy of it~ because if you're not finding a richly satisfying and nourishing love relationship, it might be because you've been playing to an audience who can't appreciate the truly marvelous the product (You) that you're offering! 

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