BREAKING UP WITH A BORDERLINE:
There must be 50 Ways to leave your Lover.
BY SHARI SCHREIBER, M.A.
This article is for survivors of a relationship that's had toxic consequences for them. It is not intended for anyone with BPD traits! If you suspect you have borderline personality features, what follows could feel injurious to you! Please leave this site immediately and seek alternative web content that may be more congruent with your personal views and needs.
When you've begun dating your Borderline, you're so excited and enraptured, you don't want to hear anyone's warnings, or read anything that might make you think this Honeymoon phase won't last forever. It's natural/normal to feel this way, but it keeps you from benefiting from the prophylactic value of my writings, which can save you from indescribable pain up ahead.
Virtually anyone can write a 'how-to' manual about leaving a Borderline, but this is not a behavioral issue--if it were, you'd have gotten out long before now. This literature attempts to help you understand the intricate conflicts you face about leaving this person, and assists you in making a sound decision to exit a toxic relationship, and avoid subjecting yourself to more trauma.
You could have been wrestling for awhile with leaving your Borderline, due to the substantial levels of stress and drama you've had to endure since it got started. You're conflicted, because when you think about moving on, you feel guilty~ but when you consider sticking around, you're pretty sure this pit in your stomach will remain, too. And then of course, there's the unbelievable "chemistry" that keeps you wanting more, and more and more~ regardless of how much pain you're enduring in-between the good times.
If you've been involved with a Borderline Waif, the prospect of deserting this fragile, needful lover is even more daunting, because you're trapped between sensing the ship you're sailing on is about to sink and saving yourself, or remaining, and going down with it. Attraction keeps you hooked into him/her, despite the chaos, uncertainty and craziness that comes with it. Still, it shouldn't be so hard to walk out on this deal, right? Don't kid yourself. Walking away is the easy part. The toxic turmoil that goes on inside you afterward, is precisely why this piece was written!
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