COULD MY BPD LOVER BE RIGHT ABOUT ME??
The Borderline and You
BY SHARI SCHREIBER, M.A.
This article is for survivors of a relationship that's had toxic consequences for them. It is not intended for anyone with BPD traits! If you suspect you have borderline personality features, what follows could feel injurious to you! Please leave this site immediately and seek alternative web content that may be more congruent with your personal views and needs.
Untangling the snarled web of confusion, self-doubt and shame is by far the most difficult challenge of separating from a borderline disordered individual. For weeks, months or even years after your split, you're still trying to make the pieces of that puzzle fit, which traps you inside a labyrinth of painful obsession and yearning.
One of the more injurious parts of your relationship with a Borderline, is it's left you with the endless, tormenting question; "was it them, or me?" You've probably replayed this tape in your head hundreds, even thousands of times, regardless of how many articles you've read here (or elsewhere) that clearly define borderline traits, and help you comprehend your irresistible attraction to someone who's brilliant and stunning--but crazy-making and hurtful.
It makes absolutely no sense, that you could keep wanting somebody who's been your cruel/dismissive tormentor, and turned your world upside-down and inside-out. It's this inner battle between your rational mind and your painful longing, which has you continuing to wrestle with this toxic relationship, and that's what we're here to dismantle.
The aim of this article is to educate you about this pain you're in, and assist you with breaking free of it. You might resist reading this piece, because it's not as much about the Borderline as it is about You and the reasons you're still drawn to him or her. Nearly all my articles on BPD address this in part, but this one's intended to awaken your consciousness even more, and start you on your way toward recovering from this trauma.
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