THE BORDERLINE COMMANDMENTS

BY SHARI SCHREIBER, M.A.

I. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

II. Openly state your true feelings, insecurities and needs.

III. Stop projecting your own thoughts and feelings onto others.

IV. Learn to feel and discuss difficult emotions, not act-out with them.

V. Honestly express your disappointment, hurt and anger toward your parents~ not your lover.

VI. Engage core healing work to end shame, and build self-worth.

VII. Make a daily effort to accept your flaws and shortcomings.

VIII. Take full ownership of your errors and mistakes.

IX. Give a heartfelt, sincere apology to each person you've hurt, and do not re-inflict those injuries.

X. Work hard to learn, heal and mature into a healthy, whole adult.

XI. Sex is a Gift, not a means of manipulating or controlling another.

XII. Learn how to self-validate, so you won't be endlessly seeking and demanding validation from others.

XIII. Never, ever tell your lover you're wanting to kill yourself or die (save that for your therapist). Instead, state you're feeling fragile, sad or low, and ask to be held, comforted, etc.
XIV. When you lie people sense it, which forces them to regard you as untrustworthy and lacking in character. STOP

XV. The seeds you sow today, will become the garden that surrounds you tomorrow. Plant wisely and with great care.

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