When you're hard on yourself, when you criticize yourself daily, when you drive yourself too hard, when you mentally go on fault-finding missions, your body consciousness interprets that you have a death wish.
Over time, your physical body begins breaking down to accommodate that wish you've communicated over and over again. Old people become infirm and sickly, due to decades of being critical and hard on themselves. Old age is NOT an automatic recipe for infirmity and illness~ but we're conditioned to SEE it that way, because of how often we're exposed to it.
If you do nothing else to help yourself during this lifetime, you MUST completely eliminate this negative mental tape that plays 24/7 in the back of your psyche, which asserts "I'm not lovable or good enough."
Your mother thru her neglect of you as a newborn and throughout your infancy, convinced you of these faulty ideations. Had you been loved the way you deserved to be as a precious, beautiful infant, there's no way on God's green earth, you'd have become your own worst enemy.
You'd be respecting, admiring and liking yourself, and would not settle for an involvement with anyone who didn't feel exactly the same about you, as you feel about yourself . . .
and you'd be feeling far more energetic and healthy than you are.