If you're used to feeling strife, conflict and drama in your relationships, meeting and dating someone normal and healthy, will likely have you'll blaming him/her for feeling "bored."

This problem is NOT with Them. This problem is with You, because you grew up having to accept chaos and drama, which you presumed was 'normal,' in order to endure it!

In the process of learning to MANAGE the painful feelings your home environment evoked, you figured out how to welcome them! This formed your addiction to chaos, drama, anxiety and pain, which all (STILL) trigger adrenaline surges in your body.

Adrenaline in the bloodstream makes us feel ALIVE, whether it's prompted by euphoric or intensely uncomfortable events or experiences, like panic/anxiety attacks, fright, emotional or physical injuries, etc.

The ABSENCE of difficult feelings leaves us feeling flat, empty, non-existent or "bored." We never look inside ourselves to learn WHY these sensations exist within, because it's much easier to blame somebody else for having "caused" us to feel them!

So, we scapegoat others for our incapacity to feel stimulated without painful TRIGGERS that are catalyzed by others! This literally means we are DEPENDENT on someone else to help us feel alive, because we've killed off so many vital emotions since early childhood, we are literally devoid of the ability to access and FEEL them on our own.

Your "addiction" to a toxic, abusive, BPD lover or ex, is not actually that at all. You are NOT "addicted to him or her!" It's merely that you feel dead inside, when you don't have somebody hammering you into the ground, because intense anguish is the ONLY thing that breaks thru the non-feeling bubble within which you've resided, since early childhood.

Dead people DO NOT feel pain! Emotionally healthy, whole people feel EVERYTHING~ including joy, agony AND sensations of aliveness, which aren't reliant on someone ELSE to ignite them, indefinitely.

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