I always wanna know where I stand with someone. You can be mad at me, but if you take yourself away without explanation, it makes me mistrust you.
I'd rather be screamed at, sworn at, and called any derogatory name you can muster, than disengaged from. If you disappear when you're upset with me, it harms our relationship bond in irreparable ways.
Can't find the words? Afraid I'll be angry with you if you express your genuine feelings? This is a moldy leftover from childhood abuse, which has nothing to do with Me. I've always considered it a victory, when a client is willing to vent their disappointment or anger at me, rather than sheepishly leaving in a huff.
If you never get to experience what it's like to let your anger at someone out, and NOT be abandoned for it, how can you ever feel safe expressing this very genuine, healthy, passionate emotion?
A lot of folks CRY when they're angry, because they have such harsh judgment on their anger, they feel overwhelm and paralysis when it arises in them. Crying when you're mad at someone, is a conversion-reaction that's born out of feeling afraid of letting your rage out, due to judging it as a "wrong" emotion.
There's no such thing, as a wrong emotion. ALL emotions are healthy, vibrant parts of the Self, and must be respected as such. Unexpressed anger converts to depression for many. It is also the basis for illness, because long-held resentment and suppressed rage are the architects of cancer growing in the body.