Have you felt confused in a primary relationship? Do the "rules" seem fluid and tend to keep changing with that person? Do they "love" ya one day and "hate" you the next?
Do you feel like you're frequently misunderstood? Does your lover accuse you of things that are SO far from who you are as an integrous person, it feels like they don't really KNOW you? Are their moods mercurial? Does their demeanor rapidly shift from positive to negative?
When you hit a misunderstanding, can you sit down with them and talk it thru? Will they listen to reason~ or see Your side of the equation? Do they often seem to be lacking in common sense?
Have you caught your lover contradicting themselves, from one hour or day to the next? Have you ever felt like they're lying to you? Does your lover flirt with others in your presence, or make statements to you about people (perhaps at their work) who are hot for em?
Do molehills become mountains? Does your partner often exaggerate small or minor upsets, and turn them into hyper-dramatic events? Do they act hysterical and get bent out of shape at the slightest provocation?
If you express to them an issue you have with their behavior, do they immediately deflect and put it back on You? Like, "No, YOU'RE the one who does that. YOU'RE the one who's insensitive, rageful, inconsiderate, narcissistic, etc."
If/when you confront your partner about their unsavory behavior, do they shut down on ya, take themselves away, become rageful, or cry?? When they cry during a confrontation, do you feel guilty for having triggered their tears, and desperately try to fix their feelings for em??
Crying is a Borderline's defense. They often use tears to manipulate you, so you'll back off from a confrontation. If they can shame or guilt you, they can control you.
Most people have "never even HEARD of Borderline Personality Disorder." Frankly, hundreds of people over the years I was working to help folks heal, said this very thing to me. They also said, "until I landed on your website and began reading those articles, I thought I was going crazy."
Attachment to a Borderline can MAKE you feel crazy! We call em "Borderlines," because they live on the edge or border of psychosis. It's not that they can't appear rational and sane at times~ it's that they walk a very thin line between staying upright, and falling off a precipice into the BPD abyss, and no matter HOW much you love em, you cannot save em.
They'll cheat on you. They'll lie to you. They'll manipulate you sexually and emotionally, until you think you're going insane. Some of my former friends/colleagues were MASTERS at this stuff.
Do they really MEAN it, when they say they'll love you forever, and could never imagine being without you? Yes, they do . . . in the moment. But just like a toddler's mood shifts from one extreme to the other because their little brains haven't yet developed the capacity for mood regulation, you really can't believe ANYTHING a Borderline tells you~ not the good stuff, NOR the bad.
If ya wanna learn more about BPD, there's a very popular website that's internationally recognized as having the most informative, straightforward and practical material on what it's really like, to be in love with someone borderline personality disordered. At least you won't feel so isolated, confused and alone, once you begin reading those 25 articles on this topic.
Just follow the link: www.ShariSchreiber.com/articles-and-forums and find out why after all these years, you're still thinking of the one who got away. I can tell ya one thing~ he or she didn't deserve you.
Oh, and by the way guys, not ALL women are "crazy." I understand how it can seem this way to ya, but it 's really just true of the ones YOU'VE been attracted to. Maybe it's finally time to find out WHY.