Emotional development requires growth work. Growth oriented treatment re-associates and acquaints you with feelings you killed off as a young child, in order to survive in your family home. It helps you become truly empowered, because if you're still afraid of certain emotions, you'll avoid em.
Avoiding your feelings WHATEVER they are, leaves you with a very limited emotional repertoire and personality structure. Humans are extremely multi-dimensional. Someone afraid of their darker emotions is robbed of a variety of facets that make up a whole person, which makes em come across as flat, predictable and boring~ even, to themselves.
Are you stuck in a cycle of choosing one particular type of lover or partner? How's that worked out for ya?
IF you wanna break this seemingly endless cycle of poor partner selection, you must ask yourself some hard to answer questions:
1. "If I were with someone completely opposite of this type of person, who would I BE with them?"
2. "What would being with someone as strong, competent and vibrant as I believe I am, BE like for me?"
3. "What feelings come up inside me, when I contemplate loving a whole, healthy individual who's CAPABLE of returning my love?"
4. "Can I still think of myself as 'emotionally available,' if I'm not constantly having to strive for another's attention and affection?"
5. "How committed to my need to alter, reconfigure, guide, train and teach someone am I, and what happens for Me and this fixation of mine, if they become the person I THINK I want?"
6. "Who in my home needed fixing/repairing, when I was a child? Did I grow up with just one person who was emotionally available to me, and reasonably competent in terms of dealing with life's challenges and setbacks?"
7. "Did I ever get to be a carefree, happy and confident kid~ or did it become My job to think and behave like an ADULT around my house, because nobody else was equipped to fulfill that position?"
I could go on and on with these probing questions, folks~ but if any of these 7 trigger emotional discomfort or pain somewhere in the center of your body, you have a semblance of understanding about why You've been "unlucky in love."