So many men are vehemently searching for what seems missing in their life. Is it a thriving career? A magnificent love life? Riches and monetary success beyond their wildest imaginings? Oddly, what's actually missing for millions of males, is a nourishing, intimate relationship bond with themselves.
People (particularly males) tend to think, "if I let down my guard and allow myself to feel vulnerable or depressed, I'll never get up again." This is a false belief.
Let's say, you're a wagon wheel. Your 'hub' is who you believe yourself to essentially BE. You don't actually think about your spokes or give 'em consideration~ all you know is, only the "mighty and strong" ones are allowed to take up space there~ but what about all the others??
If you've amputated fragility, vulnerability to being hurt, sadness, depression, grief, emptiness, jealousy, envy, anger or rage out of your personality structure, these are the missing spokes of your wagon wheel.
A wagon wheel that's missing even one spoke cannot travel any real distance on rough terrain, without breaking down. ALL the spokes in that wheel are important and serve a purpose, which is to keep the wheel INTACT, no matter what the wagon and its passengers encounter on their journey.
So many people are terrified of their depression, because as youngsters, nobody noticed, comforted or reassured us that we were loved and we'd be okay, if we were feeling it. Humans have learned to fight off their depression thru using various means to avert or avoid it, which is how addiction takes people hostage all over the globe~ usually, from a very young age onward.
Nobody teaches us how to be with our pain, and learn we can surmount it, as children. We grow into adulthood ill-equipped to handle emotional pain, because we got no attention or soothing for it when we were small. If nobody gave us tenderness and care when we felt pain as children, we never learn to give it to ourselves.
Left to our own devices when we were in pain as toddlers, we had to stay curious about it, and try to think of logical REASONS for it to exist in us, or our state of confusion made it feel much worse! Thus, was born the hyper-analytical human. One who effectively dissociates from his or her pain, by getting busy in their head about it.
Obsessive-Compulsive thinking is a direct byproduct of depression that an individual refuses to feel. This pattern has been going on since early childhood, and the stage back then was set for both OCD and Anxiety Disorder to develop, due to dissociation from emotions.
People with BPD and Narcissism both dissociate from their emotions, which is how and why they're so often drawn to one another. They share the same exact core trauma wounds that turned each into non-feeling, robotic beings who are devoid of vitally important personality dimensions and feeling facets.
Survival to THESE people, meant NOT feeling their difficult emotions when they were little~ and whatever works to some degree early on, is what we humans naturally resolve to keep doing.
No healthy, grounded, emotionally whole and well person suffers from anxiety issues. I've worked therapeutically with a lot of core-damaged people, and every single one suffered to one extent or another, with anxiety. Anxiety issues are most prevalent among people with personality disorder traits, due to years of dissociation from various emotions they harshly judge as bad or "wrong."
The fully-integrated Self feels everything. They don't judge their emotions as unacceptable or acceptable, because they realize that to be human and healthy, they must accept and embrace ALL parts of the Self, to be able to share their authenticity with another.
I think this is a good enough place to wrap this up, so Amen, and so be it.