Folks who get involved with Borderlines always seek to pathologize their partner, but the reality is, they're just as damaged and broken as the BPD individual with whom they're dancing.
Case in point~ how are we to think about someone who can ONLY attach to people who cannot love them back?
What might be wrong with a person who STAYS in an emotionally and/or physically abusive relationship?
Does the partner of a Borderline love pain and have masochistic tendencies~ or is there a different reason they can't get excited about building a healthy, wholesome emotional bond with another?
Does the partner or ex of a Borderline engage in any addictive or compulsive behaviors that help them numb their pain and/or deplete their financial resources? Do they have an eating disorder, an addiction to porn or a shopping compulsion when they feel empty? Do they keep themselves too busy to FEEL their emotions, and continue to fear, dread and judge them?
Like attracts like. The person we attach ourselves to, vibrates at OUR frequency. This is our benchmark for how emotionally and/or psychologically sound and healthy WE are. If you're bitching about your partner, you might wanna take a much closer look at You.
Truly whole, healthy, self-actualized people seek the company of others like them. They don't prey on the weak and needy, and they DO NOT need to be needed, in order to bolster their own sense of value or worth. Nobody with GENUINELY healthy self-esteem, attaches to a lover or friend who's lacking in it. It's simply not a vibrational match! They can sense it's coming toward em, they feel repulsion in their body, and they avoid it like the plague.