People with BPD traits are oriented toward survival. They'll get close to contentment or happiness, but veer away from feeling consistently well or GOOD, because those sensations are (sadly) completely foreign to their life experience, and initially trigger anxiety.

This helps us recognize that the concept of THRIVING is completely out of the question, for these individuals, and it's precisely why the Borderline continues to tolerate and live with anxiety and depression, insomnia, addictions, body aches and pains, and ongoing levels of discontent. These feeling states are familiar to people with BPD traits, due to having always existed inside them.

Letting go of and actually SURMOUNTING these issues, means having to part with companions that have been by our side since we were infants. The question that arises is, WHO AM I, IF THIS ISSUE IS NO LONGER PRESENT FOR ME?!

Holding onto a dysfunctional identity is more comfortable for those with BPD traits, than learning to accommodate and nurture a wholesome NEW one. More than any other reason, THIS is at the heart of why Borderlines do not get well.

Some have the exceptional courage to shift this paradigm for themselves, and many (sadly) do not. As the saying goes, ya can't save 'em all.

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