Borderline Personality Disorder is the root of all relationship difficulties. If we GOT the nurturant, loving supplies we needed from our moms when we were infants and throughout childhood, this disorder would not exist.
We'd grow up feeling worthy of being loved and having our feelings responded to and respected. We'd know for certain what REAL love feels like, and would never settle for less.
We would not be confusing painful longing and yearning for someone's attention and affection as "love." In short, Love = Pain would NOT have become our distorted definition for attachment during childhood.
I understand all too well, that you think your intensely dramatic, somewhat painful cravings for MORE of someone's time and warmth are what love is supposed to FEEL like, but this couldn't be farther from the truth.
GENUINE love feels calm, nourishing, secure, tranquil and safe. It never feels like an emotional roller-coaster. If you experience any flat, empty or "blah" days as a single entity, you're bound to have these in a relationship as well. This does NOT mean your partner is boring~ it means you're bored with Yourself, and your connection with YOU needs working on, to grow and flourish.
If you think you crave emotional intensity, and serenity and calm in a relationship bond isn't enough for you to stay interested in a partner, you have Borderline Personality Disorder features, and you require highly specialized help to outgrow these.
The ONLY reason you're an intensity seeker, is because it breaks thru your non-feeling bubble which was formed when you were a child, and had to detach (or dissociate) yourself from a litany of difficult emotions, in order to survive in your home environment.
If you feel empty, sad or discontent unless you're in relationship with another, you're lacking a solid, friendly relationship bond with YOU. Should this remain the case, you can never be happy being attached to someone else, because you're DETACHED from You.