"Curing" BPD cannot be accomplished thru standard clinical approaches, due to the Borderline's baseline of developmental arrest.
We accommodate and work with spectrum disorders when someone is cognitively impaired, like with Autism, for instance. We don't expect these people to function without having to deal with significant obstacles to their daily understanding and comprehension. This is a given.
With Borderlines however, a very similar level of cognitive difficulty can exist. The mood-regulating centers of their brain could not develop normally during infancy, due to deficits in maternal attention and nurturance. This early lack can also spawn Bipolar Disorder, which I discuss in my online article, "UNDER THE COVERS~ The little known truth about Bipolar Disorder." https://sharischreiber.com/under-the-covers/
A toddler incessantly asks "why?" of nearby adults. Their developing little brains try to make SENSE of what they're seeing, perceiving and experiencing. If you're their parent, this can drive you nuts! The Borderline incessantly tries to understand the pain they feel inside, analyzes and attaches myriad reasons to it (to no avail), and yet the true source of their pain began in the first days and weeks of life outside their mother's womb.
It's difficult to anticipate that a grown adult with ANY level of emotional and cognitive development could accept, digest and integrate this concept, even though it's utterly simplistic. Yet oddly enough, a Borderline actually can~ and this right here, is their gateway to healing.
During wellness treatment, a specialized clinician's main job is teaching their BPD client to shut-down their habitual mental hyper-analysis in order to keep 'em out of their head, and solely in their body. THIS is what facilitates crucially needed emotional development.
When you step back and think about Borderlines and their hot/cold, come-here/go-away acting-out behaviors, you can literally compare them to the radical mood fluctuations you might observe in a toddler~ or someone who struggles with a Bipolar mood disorder. We've long-expected Borderlines to benefit and heal thru psychological intervention~ but this is like sending a 3-year-old to a psychiatrist's office for psycho-analytical treatment.
Would YOU anticipate a positive outcome from that intervention?? Of course you wouldn't! This little patient would be way out of their depth.
A three-year-old's brain is incapable of benefitting from such endeavors. These didactic methods of treatment literally go right over their head~ and yet, we expect the poor Borderline to ingest and 'connect the dots' to make sense of what they're hearing!
A Borderline will ACT as though they understand you, to manage their inner-shame response when they don't~ but how many times have you found yourself repeating the same exact concerns over and over again to a lover that they haven't retained the LAST 14 times you explained it??
Facilitating emotional growth in the Borderline is the only means I've personally ever found, that helps them connect with real and immediate feelings, learn to eliminate their judgement about them, raise self-acceptance and worth in the process, and outgrow their BPD traits.
Depending on one's placement on the BPD spectrum, some can more readily comprehend the "why" of an immediate event, but many cannot. The adult mind can easily make sense of things a young child's mind cannot~ and yet, we persist in sending these poor souls for months, years and even decades of "therapy," to help them get well~ never realizing this approach fails to accomplish that aim.
My point is, you can't keep expecting mental analysis and exploration work to heal a broken heart that one's housed since he or she was a newborn. The "cure" we adults believe will fix everything is fixing NOTHING, when it comes to personality disorders.
So WHY I ask you, do we doggedly continue trying to repair a microwave oven with a toilet plunger?! To me, it's sheer lunacy.