You could blindfold yourself, throw a rock, and have it land on a "guru" who thinks they know enough to help ya heal. BEWARE, 'cause most of 'em DON'T!
Fact is, these are mostly deeply fractured people who've collected a little wisdom from other sources that made sense TO THEM, and they're parroting what they've retained from those sources to YOU, and charging ya money for it.
Some clients have been reluctant to trust me, because they've been taken-in by SO MANY underqualified, talk-the-talk but can't WALK it, charlatans who mean well and relish the sense of power it gives 'em to "coach" others, but the large majority of them are personality disordered (NPD or BPD) and Codependent.
They wanna guide You toward personal and/or financial success~ yet they themselves, are still struggling to form healthy, nourishing, balanced, reciprocal attachments, and (monetarily) keep the wolves from their door! I've had quite a few of these folks as clients in my wellness practice, so I'm not just mouthing off, here.
This is the bottom line, ladies and gentlemen: You cannot give away (or sell) what YOU haven't come to OWN. Lots of people try of course, and hoards of desperate, directionless, disempowered folks jump on board with these "gurus," but in the end, healing has NOT taken place, and they're no closer to climbing out of the cavernous hole they're in, than when they began.
Wishful thinking drives a whole lotta bad choices! We humans DREAD feeling disappointed by someone we've put our trust in, which makes us gun-shy whenever we're fortunate enough to finally locate a genuine and gifted Healer.
Here's one little tip for ya: When you're working with someone, absolute CONSISTENCY in their conveyances to you is extremely important to note. Can they explain the same concept to you in at least several different ways, at different times in your journey with em? Does it make more and more sense as you hear that concept the third, fourth or seventh time~ or does it ever feel like they contradict themselves?
TRUTH cannot be manipulated. If someone really KNOWS their stuff, their truth shines thru time and time again, and you gradually find that your intellectual understanding starts to INTEGRATE on a cellular level in your body, and become Emotional Knowing.
Emotional Knowing means that understanding and comprehension is literally interwoven into your cellular structure. Once you KNOW something emotionally, you FEEL it solidifying in your body, and you cannot forget it or unknow it.
Some people SHAME themselves, after finding a true healer. They beat themselves up for not having gotten to whatever crucial truths and life-altering insights they're (at last) integrating, much sooner in their life. This practice ALWAYS activates sadness and depression!
The analogy I've used with a few clients who've seemed committed to this type of self-flagellation, is this:
When you think of all the years of schooling you've had, HOW MUCH of that costly, time consuming, challenging set of experiences, can you apply to your life TODAY? How much of all that "learning" are you actually able to USE, in your day-to-day existence??
Do you beat yourself up for this?? Do you CURSE yourself for having spent so many years getting advanced degrees or special-skill training, and NOT being able to apply it to your daily life?
I had what you could consider this type of "waste of time" feeling after I'd completed nearly 4 years of extended schooling, and ended up with a Bachelor's and Master's degree in psychology.
I didn't 'shame' myself for enrolling in this undersatisfying aim, I congratulated myself for having known nearly everything I needed to know, BEFORE returning to academia.
Truth is, getting those degrees and pulling straight A's, was welcome confirmation to my sense that I was very bright, and it did enrich my self-esteem a bit. So, it wasn't a COMPLETE waste of time, money and energy, after all.
There's no such thing, as "wasted time." I wish I had a dollar for every client who exclaimed, "I WISH I'D FOUND YOU MUCH EARLIER IN MY LIFE!!!" The truth is, they weren't READY for what I had to offer them then, and so it couldn't happen. We all make mistakes, which is essential to learning and growing. Some people choose to learn from their mistakes, and others repeat 'em over and over again, because that's what feels familiar, and therefore, comfortable.
Every experience you have (even the painful ones), takes you closer to what you need and want. If you've taken a bunch of wrong turns and regret hiring the wrong people to help you, at least you've learned what DOESN'T work, haven't ya??
Every time you hit a dead end, you LEARN something from that experience. Maybe it's simply to stop you from "trusting" people in general. Maybe your inner GPS (your built-in survival guide) doesn't work so good, 'cause you've been dissociated from MOST of your feelings lifelong, and your instincts and intuition are still underdeveloped, and need professional help to grow and establish themselves.
When a baby begins to stand after crawling for awhile, they fall down a lot. It takes considerable time to develop balance and strength in their little leg muscles and core, to stand without toppling over. Grownups need time to grow and develop, too!
Quit shaming yourself for finally coming out of the ether, no matter WHAT age you are. You're learning, growing, healing, and getting as much of it done while you're still in THIS body, so that (with any luck) you won't have to schlep it into the NEXT lifetime with ya.